Close to my birthday this year, I felt stuck in life. I did complain a lot.
Life is not fair. I deserve better. Life is tough. This is sucks. No one appreciate me. Why it has to be me?
And so many other complains.
I always have reasons to make me unhappy. Do all the best to hurt myself even more.
So I decided to take a short break. Give myself a gift on my birthday. I gave myself a break, and a trip.
So there I am…
Early morning at the bus, catching my flight to Saigon. It was 4 a.m.
Everyone at the bus sleeping, maybe still tired from whatever they did the day before.
I sat on the backseat, alone. Counting my coins and checking my stuffs.
The guy came to me asking for the bus payment.
I handed him money, and look at the guy face. His eye bag are big, I can see he works hard. really hard. tough life.
Suddenly he asked me, where will I go? I said, Vietnam.
Alone? Are you going to work there? – he asked
Yes, alone. Just want to escape life for a while.
He looks shocked. But not trying to asked more. He got his own problems too, doesn’t care more about mine.
He asked me if he can sit there, beside me, for a while.
I said yes, why not.
I said to him, he looks so tired. He told me:
Lady, I just back from airport 12am, arrived at bus terminal maybe 1.30am, and need to go for another round 3.30am. I do this almost every day. I need to survive.
Somehow, it hits me.
Is this how the universe rebukes me?
Me, who is always feel like I am the only one suffering.
Who is always complain life is getting too hard on me.
I realized I always look at people around me and feel ungrateful.
I compare myself with them and fill unsatisfied.
I was mean to myself and choose to suffer. While actually I have many other things I should be grateful for.
I have so many reasons to be happy, but I just focused on my unhappiness.
It slowly kills me from inside.
Today, when I write this post, almost two months passed from my birthday,
I feel like I am different person. I change my mindset slowly.
Who knows short conversation in a bus, with the least expected guy, can change my way of thinking.
Thanks to him I learned something I wish I knew it before… GRATITUDE.